"My child was so easy to put to bed after dinner, now it's a nightmare. Screaming and acting as though they're scared to go to bed! I don't know what happened.". At this point many parents begin doing whatever it takes to pacify the child to sleep, and so bad habits are born. The situation is often made worse when the child progresses to night-waking. Parents are left confused, cranky and tired.
Here's a list of the common triggers causing a sudden change behaviour at bedtime.
1. Your child may have reached a developmental age where they are aware they can demand attention. When they are tired, this demanding behaviour happens more easily and with increased serverity.
2. They may have pain due to teething or an ear-ache.
3. They've recently commenced Daycare and are experiencing separation anxiety.
4. You've just returned from a family holiday where the child slept with a parent and now they want that to continue.
5. They've had an unsettled night and you put them in your bed to sleep.
6. They've had constant attention during illness and now demands it.
7. You've recently got rid of the 'dummy'.
8. Your child mislaid dummy/security blanket.
9. It could be food intolerance related.
10. New sibling in the family?
11. Has anyone new come to stay? Extended family, other visitors?
12. Tension in the household i.e. relationship issues between parents.
13. Change from cot to bed.
14. Inappropriate tv programs or too much TV.
The best way to fix this is STOP-ASSESS-ACT.
STOP - keep your cool. If you need to, put them in a safe place and walk outside for a moment.
ASSESS - Go through the above list. Has anything happened recently that would cause this? Are there other events that have changed things?
ACT -
If it is fixable, fix it; Limit the amount and type of TV watched. Overtired children need earlier bedtime, read their 'body clock'. Use Dymadon/Panadol for pain. Food intolerances are known by now and should not present an issue. If you suspect it could be food related, start a diary of what they're eating and note any behavioural changes. Again, see a doctor if needed.
If it's behavioural - If you know it is attention-seeking behaviour then allow the child to protest. Make sure there are no breakables or dangerous items in their bedroom, then let them throw a tantrum in there. Do not get them up for extra cuddles and so on. The goal of the child is 'attention' and the goal of the parent is to 'comfort'. The two do not mix. You need to control your own angst sufficiently to deal with the child. The child deserves a parent who is in charge.
Your child will certainly give it all it is worth to show you how they feel. It is worth remembering that a child knows what they want and will 'fight' (scream) to get it. It is vital to remain CALM. Be CONSISTENT and PERSISTENT, habits are so easy to start!
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