I have been asked to write about what to do if your child begins masturbating. Masturbation is a taboo topic in our society, particularly if its a child doing it. Parents are embarrassed by it and have no idea about how to handle the situation. Let's talk about: why it's begun, typical behaviour and your response to it.
Why has it started:
Some children discover that vibration of the genital area enables them to experience feelings they enjoy and will actively persue the action to a climax. Other children may experience more friction from wearing a nappy. The thickened and bulky wadding between their legs may produce more pressure on movement.
Typical behaviour:
In my experience both girls and boys masturbate, and have begun as young as 1 year old.
Toddlers and older children explore their bodies with their hands and the genital area will always be a 'touching' zone. This can be observed when 'nappy-free' time and bath time happens. Little boys discover they have a penis and will play with it, and may well continue into adulthood....do not despair.
Parents Response to the child's behaviour:
Parents are typically shocked by this discovery. Some react negatively towards the child, others chose to ignore the behaviour and hope it will go away.
Masturbation is neither wrong or bad. Your child needs to know that its ok to do it, but it is not appropariate in public places.
A way to handle the situation:
Consider how well a child responds to directions given by the parent in everyday situations. In this matter I recommend gentle explanation of how pleasant the feelings are but that this is a private time, a bit like when a child wants to wear a nappy to do a poo and they take themselves off to a private area to do so. Most children seem to have a sense of privacy for some situations and I do believe it is up to the parent to encourage the child to recognise the need for privacy in this case.
The older the child, the easier it is to explain what they do need to do. I encourage the parent to imagine how they would think/feel if they were the child and how they would like to have it explained to them. Sensitivity is the key.
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